Ep 170 : Navigating Life’s Rhythms with My Mother ft Ms. Emelia Harry Akponwei

Raphael Harry [00:00:00]:
Welcome to White Label American Podcast. This is a podcast that brings you bold, in-depth interviews with interesting people that are mostly immigrants taking down artificial walls 1 story at a time. This is a podcast that empowers immigrants to share their stories and listen to those of others. Thank you for joining us. Welcome to a very special episode of white label American, the most special episode that we've had so far. Without today's guest, I wouldn't be here. I'm honored to be in the presence of the most one of the most legendary people that we have. I'm honored to have my mother as today's guest.

Raphael Harry [00:01:20]:
She's one of the greatest people that I know. And, we do have a very special relationship if you've listened to our episodes a lot. But in the presence, in in order to save time, we can't go into a whole lot of, accolades and things that she's done, but she's done a lot for job people, and she's done a lot for women in Nigeria, and she's done a lot for, women in Africa in general. So with that being said, I'm honored to have madam Emilia Haria Kwenwe. How are you doing today?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:02:00]:
Fine.

Raphael Harry [00:02:02]:
That's it? We we need some energy. Give us some energy. You you are you are usually referred to as the life of the party. So I'm doing fine. Okay. Alright. So,

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:02:16]:
we received

Raphael Harry [00:02:16]:
a lot of questions from some of your biggest fans, and I'll tell you at the end of the recording who they are that sent the questions. I didn't even have to prepare any questions. I normally prepare all the questions, but your biggest fans prepared 98% of the questions. So begin first question, what is the meaning of your names, and what is the story about how you came to have those names?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:02:50]:
Emelia is hardworking. Harry is, I think, hardworking.

Raphael Harry [00:03:13]:
Harry is a rich powerful

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:03:14]:
actor,

Raphael Harry [00:03:15]:
but that's fine.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:03:22]:
And then, upon way is upon another way in the cottage.

Raphael Harry [00:03:33]:
Okay.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:03:37]:
And made it Akponwei.

Raphael Harry [00:03:41]:
Now where is that name from?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:03:45]:
That is the maker of the world.

Raphael Harry [00:03:48]:
The maker of the world. And where is that name from? Where is that name from?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:03:57]:
It is Ijaw? And my Ijaw name is Ebikabuere. That is the woman, the lady who came to do good.

Raphael Harry [00:04:19]:
So is that why you named your granddaughter and my daughter Ebimere?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:04:28]:
Ebimere, yes. She's a a beautiful lady.

Raphael Harry [00:04:32]:
Alright. So there you have it, audience. Now you've gotten some you've seen some tie ins of how, you know, some names came to be about. So, another question from that came from, your biggest fans is, okay. I'll have to re I will have to rephrase this question a little bit. It it I would I would tie it into a question I I normally ask. Where where were you born? Can you introduce to your place of birth?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:05:17]:
I was born in Agbere.

Raphael Harry [00:05:21]:
And where is Agbere? For those who do not know.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:05:24]:
Agbere is a city in, Yenagoa Bayelsa state. And according to History, they said, Agbere people were in, they were living in Kpakiama. Is, a town near, Bomadi, They were like Samson in the Bible. So and, they wanted to know where he got that is, strength for And, they could not he never came and told them. So the wife, they they asked her to find out from her husband. The woman was just disturbing him. So he told her. And the woman told Kpakiama people.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:07:43]:
Kpakiama people just came to up there on fire. So, when the people came, they saw that their town is gone. Now they decided to leave. That's how they came to Odoni, the people gave them land to settle there. So they went to the site that the present people are. Mhmm. So that's how people moved to from Kpakiama to

Raphael Harry [00:08:41]:
From Kpakiama to Agbere

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:08:44]:
Agbere.

Raphael Harry [00:08:46]:
So we have ties to, Kpakiama?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:08:51]:
Yes.

Raphael Harry [00:08:52]:
Okay. And what would take you to Ghana at an early age?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:09:01]:
I was a blip when my mom brought me to Ghana because my dad was in Ghana, and he was in the police service. So, as a little baby, I was in Ghana. It's a city called Juaso in Ashanti region.

Raphael Harry [00:09:46]:
Juaso?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:09:48]:
Juaso.

Raphael Harry [00:09:49]:
Juaso? Okay.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:09:51]:
Juaso. Drive. Dua.

Raphael Harry [00:09:54]:
Oh, j.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:09:55]:
Oh, Dua.

Raphael Harry [00:09:58]:
Dua. Dua.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:09:59]:
J u J u. O

Raphael Harry [00:10:05]:
s. Juaso.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:10:12]:
So if you ask Monica, Monica will spell everything correct for you.

Raphael Harry [00:10:20]:
That's my auntie. Because

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:10:23]:
Monica's mom is from that side.

Raphael Harry [00:10:26]:
Ah, okay. Mhmm. One of the other wives of my grandfather for those who do my job.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:10:34]:
So and since papa was a a policeman, they kept on transferring him from city to city. And he didn't want to send me to any other school, only to Catholic school. So if we come to a city, and a catholic school, no vacancy. My father would say, sit stay at home. I will sit down in the house till there's a vacancy in the

Raphael Harry [00:11:22]:
So you missed school until there was a vacancy at the Catholic school?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:11:27]:
Yes.

Raphael Harry [00:11:28]:
Wow.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:11:30]:
When he was in, he was transferred to the That is, is, Roy Roy's mother's side. That's JJ Rollins,

Raphael Harry [00:11:51]:
the former president of Ghana?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:11:53]:
Yes.

Raphael Harry [00:11:54]:
Junior Jesus?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:11:58]:
Those days till he was transported and I was in primary I was in primary play.

Raphael Harry [00:12:16]:
So you spent a lot of years in Ghana and Yes. Into your adult years, your young adult years, were all spent in Ghana.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:12:27]:
Yes.

Raphael Harry [00:12:27]:
What do you consider

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:12:28]:
my father.

Raphael Harry [00:12:30]:
What do you consider your favorite childhood memory to be from your days in Ghana?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:12:38]:
When 1944, the 2nd World War, I remember vividly the the policemen were wearing something which covers their nose, their face, and they they breathe through that thing, and they asked all the women from the barracks. They have there was a place they have dug, dug like a a pitch. Big space.

Raphael Harry [00:13:31]:
Like a ditch?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:13:32]:
And all of us, we were all down. We went to stay down there. And the planes were just flying, and upon them have covered their faces with that, and we were just watching. We don't know what was happening. That was and papa, my mom bought a sewing machine that time for me when they wrote Emilia e Harry on the machine. And Papa was then a sergeant. He took picture and the picture was given to me. I had the picture.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:14:37]:
I mean, so that everybody would see that that's my sewing machine. It was nice, you know, to see something like that. And you won't believe it, I kept the sewing machine till I They brought it to Nanaguar. Now, Nanaguar here, I don't know where the machine went to. The machine walked away.

Raphael Harry [00:15:19]:
So that machine survived from 1944 to supposedly, because I I know I brought I know I carried a whole bunch of stuff when I moved to Port Harcourt when I moved your stuff to Port Harcourt in 2002. So let's assume the machine was in there with because nobody had told me. You had never told me this story before, so I never knew I'd been looking at the World War two machine all this time in my life. So let's assume the machine was amongst the items that I transported, when I carried

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:15:57]:
Oh, yes. So

Raphael Harry [00:15:58]:
stuff on that truck from being in city

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:16:01]:
to the airport,

Raphael Harry [00:16:02]:
and then it will

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:16:03]:
be done in,

Raphael Harry [00:16:05]:
Biosa.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:16:07]:
They brought the machine to, When you people were staying at that, that place that, they found gold or whatever. They found gold.

Raphael Harry [00:16:29]:
Near the Yeah.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:16:31]:
Where the Bodija.

Raphael Harry [00:16:32]:
Bodija. Yeah. Mhmm. When Raymond was more in Bodija, we were on the outskirts of Bodija, but yeah.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:16:38]:
Mhmm. So there, the machine was changed from single to food machine.

Raphael Harry [00:16:50]:
I don't recall that, but, anyway, that's a a great story that I'll have to follow-up on later on. So moving on, another question from your favorite people. How old were you when you returned to Nigeria?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:17:13]:
When I returned, finally, Abid, you know, I came to Nigeria when, Busia, president of Ghana, Busia, Kofi Busia, said all the Nigerians should go back to Nigeria.

Raphael Harry [00:17:34]:
And why was that?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:17:37]:
That was 98. Is it 80? I just lost my baby. So I came with, Monica and my daughter and Josephine. Now the 2 of us came to Lagos, And when we went to the airport, They said that we didn't stay. We took, they gave us they inoculated them, all of us. And they said we didn't stay we were supposed to stay for 10 days before traveling. So because we did not stay for 10 days, they had to lock us up in Lagos. And I said what? Didn't you hear what was happening in, Ghana? They said all Nigerians should live.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:19:09]:
People were dying, staying at, the seashore. Now, Gowon. At that time, Gowon was the president (of Nigeria). So Gowon sent ships. Three ships came to Accra to come and carry,

Raphael Harry [00:19:36]:
Nigerians.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:19:36]:
Nigerians. Mhmm. That was how we were brought to Nigeria.

Raphael Harry [00:19:47]:
So I think it was 70, you meant, not 80.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:19:53]:
Mhmm. 70. Yes. 70. And, I was, I was at the airport today. Agatha said that he made sure that we flew. Me, Kenneth, a Raymond had already come to, Nigeria. So well, well, for

Raphael Harry [00:20:30]:
the audience, Raymond is her younger brother, one of her younger brothers. So I have to cut you there because you have some brothers and sisters who did not come with you. Why didn't they, didn't come to Nigeria? Why didn't all your brothers and sisters move to Nigeria with you?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:20:59]:
My dad's first son, That is Victor. He was, enrolled in, the Ghana army, so he couldn't come. He had to stay in He was in the army in Ghana. So he was in Accra. Mhmm. We were in. I was in, Kumasi with, Josephine and and Monica. Agatha, mother has come to take Agatha.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:21:48]:
Agatha was with Doctor Tuboru's senior brother, the policeman, late policeman, Harrison. So he took, money, Agatha that he would help to train Agatha. So he took Agatha from me. And then, Albert's mother came and took Albert. So Albert went back to go and stay with his mother and, uncle. And who again? Akwesi. Akwesi too, his mother took him to because she's from Bequia. So he went to stay with his mother.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:23:07]:
So that was how Albert then Albert later went and stayed with Victor at Teshe. Where the, army people.

Raphael Harry [00:23:31]:
So hold on. We are so we'll not lose the audience. So you mentioned some names and the audience don't know the the names, so I will interject there. The names you mentioned, Albert, Kwesi, Victor, those are siblings, and they all have Ghanaian mothers who, took them well, Victor was older, much older, so he he was already established in the in the army.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:24:00]:
Uh-huh. And

Raphael Harry [00:23:27]:
he can fend for himself. Mhmm. But the rest had their moms step in, and they stayed behind in Ghana. Josephine is, my oldest sister, and she came with her mom. My mom, and the other siblings will move to Nigeria with my mom. Right?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:24:20]:
Yes. So that was you know, all of them, Papa's children, they we were all together before. But, when Papa's wife.

Raphael Harry [00:24:40]:
And that's not your

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:24:41]:
mom? No. she's not my mom.

Raphael Harry [00:24:34]:
Okay. She's not Well, I have to make it clear so that the audience can follow.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:24:49]:
My mom was the first wife. My dad's first wife. So when she finally left and came to Nigeria, I think she got married or remarried in Nigeria or something like that. Really? I didn't see her.

Raphael Harry [00:25:20]:
That's the first time I'm hearing that.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:25:23]:
I never saw her.

Raphael Harry [00:25:25]:
I thought she died in Ghana to be honest.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:25:28]:
No. My my brother told me, sir, mother took care of me.

Raphael Harry [00:25:37]:
Yes. I'm aware. Yes. I know that.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:25:20]:
So, that if not Papa would have allowed me to be taken to Nigeria as a baby.

Raphael Harry [00:25:47]:
Then we would have had a whole different origin story. But enough on that enough of that because there are still more questions, and we'll save time, you know, we'll we'll get. Now we know we know the next questions to ask you going forward. So, there are other questions that I have from your closest fans or your biggest fans. So that let me not lose track of where I was. Oh, yes.

Raphael Harry [00:26:17]:
Yes. Yes. Here I am. Here I am. Oh, I kind of skipped over my head doing terrible moderating right here. But, okay. Yes. So, I don't think this one is necessary.

Raphael Harry [00:26:38]:
Okay. So you returned to Nigeria and not, long after your stay in Nigeria your return to Nigeria, you will end up in America for the 1st time.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:26:58]:
No. I got married.

Raphael Harry [00:26:55]:
Well, yes. Yes. We have yep. That's spoiler alert right there. But, so, well, you've come answer the 2nd part of the question was which was gonna be why didn't you remain in Nigeria? So, okay. Actually, no. That's okay.

Raphael Harry [00:27:19]:
I want me to go to America. Okay. So okay. That you've answered the 1st question. I was the 1st part of the question. So the 2nd part of the question is down the line, we are not, worried about your 1st 1st time in America. So 2nd time in America, which should be down the line after you've settled in Nigeria. You know? What made you go to America after retirement from civil service? Why didn't you remain in Nigeria?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:27:11]:
I had an accident when that was in 80 82.

Raphael Harry [00:27:57]:
82. Yes. Before Yeah.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:27:58]:
Right before You were born?

Raphael Harry [00:27:59]:
Yeah. Right before I was born.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:27:48]:
I was to go to Ayangba for to represent our director for an

Raphael Harry [00:28:09]:
And Ayangba is what?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:28:14]:
To attend which is being received.

Raphael Harry [00:28:17]:
Okay.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:28:12]:
So I was to represent our president and our director, federal department of agri

Raphael Harry [00:28:37]:
Agriculture. Yep.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:28:30]:
I was covering 5 states. So Ayangba is in Benue (now Kogi). And when you were 2 months old, you were a baby. I didn't want to carry you along because I was going for a meeting. So the nanny who was taking care of you said she would stay with you in the house. So I left you with her, and I and the driver Tunde, we went, we drove, we went to Ayangba.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:29:37]:
The, we were almost near the town. When the driver was speeding, I said, you are speeding. The road is rough. He says, he, you know, he gave a flimsy excuse. So I told him, on this bad road, slow down. That was my savior. He slowed down and suddenly we saw a truck coming I said, you see? That place was a bend and that's how the driver has to quickly move out from the main road because the truck didn't want to give us a chance. So he went and jammed the bend, and the car somersaulted.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:30:47]:
And that was how I broke my left shoulder. So I was struggling. They admitted me in, Ayangba Hospital, ADP hospital. And I said I had to go back to Jos because I left my son, my baby there. And, luckily, the girl the lady told her husband. The husband said, you said, I will she will come back. What? Why are you still there? So that that was also going to cause another Wahala and luckily, I came. And Kenneth my son, saw my hand.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:32:09]:
And what is this? So they started treating me in in the hospital. Doctor said, my shoulder was my left arm was down. Shorter than the right hand.

Raphael Harry [00:32:34]:
Yeah. I remember seeing the photos.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:32:39]:
So in

Raphael Harry [00:32:39]:
a bad shape for a while.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:32:42]:
Yes. So

Raphael Harry [00:32:44]:
And you're still breastfeeding?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:32:03]:
1 man that massages. You see in Ijaw.

Raphael Harry [00:32:57]:
Mhmm. We have good massages.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:33:00]:
Massage my hand. So the next day I went to the hospital. Doctor, the doctor, an Indian doctor. He said, wonderful. Wonderful. How did what happened? Now I said, I'm the one to ask you what happened. You are asking me, I don't know. He said, what? I didn't tell him that I they massaged my hand.

Raphael Harry [00:32:07]:
Oh, so he was surprised at how good your shoulder.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:33:39]:
Your hand was shot. Mhmm. So that was how?

Raphael Harry [00:33:47]:
Your treatments began.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:33:35]:
The hand was being treated better. As time went on, my shoulder, the dislocated shoulder. It was corrected before. I don't know what happened. Maybe I slept. I slept over it. I don't know. That is how the pain started to come again.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:34:31]:
Mhmm. So, I was nominated to go for a 7-week course in America. So while I was there, it was wintertime. The hand started again. And it was that time a doctor said, I need to go for a treatment. And I was about to come back, so I arranged that, okay, I will apply for you and go to then I will come to the US for treatment. That was how I came to The 2nd time to the US.

Raphael Harry [00:36:16]:
And one treatment will lead to another, and that was the beginning of the end.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:36:01]:
And then I keep on falling.

Raphael Harry [00:36:10]:
Oh, yeah. The the fallings will will be added to the issues. So I have to take you back to your first, time in America. There was a question I should have asked. Why didn't you carry your 1st daughter with you when you traveled to America for the first time?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:36:52]:
And I came to America to join my husband, And he had many children, and he said that he cannot bring my daughter along because he was being given a scholarship from Berlin, Midwestern State. So he cannot carry, me, carry my daughter alone.

Raphael Harry [00:36:42]:
So did did you know that he had many children when you got married

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:37:48]:
to him? No. He said he had 3 2 children. Those he had with the white lady. He first married the white lady, and I don't know. So that was how it happened.

Raphael Harry [00:38:10]:
So when did you find out that he had, a lot more children than was on record?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:37:44]:
When when I get I came to, America, and I was, you know, I was teaching in, what is God? Holy Cross, Holy Cross Catholic School.

Raphael Harry [00:38:46]:
In what city? No.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:38:33]:
I was in Benin City.

Raphael Harry [00:38:50]:
Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought you meant to America. Yeah.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:38:38]:
So I was asking people. I didn't want to go to America. I couldn't just leave my daughter and go. So I was finding out this man. Who said that we married a white woman and they divorced. So Justice Oki, Doctor Oki's, I think his cousin, his nephew. He was insisting that I should find out because he was not when Akponwei was, married to the white lady, he was not going near Ijaw people. So to hear that now he wants to marry Ijaw woman, something is fishy.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:40:13]:
So that was how. And me, I just came from Ghana. Mhmm. So I don't know. And I want to go back to Ghana.

Raphael Harry [00:40:05]:
So you are trying to go back to Ghana then?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:40:28]:
Yes. So my people don't don't want me to go back to Ghana. They say, how can she reach Nigeria? Now she wants to go back. No.

Raphael Harry [00:40:44]:
But why why did you want to go back to Ghana?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:40:10]:
Because, my the Ghana man I was married to, he said that he will follow me to Nigeria.

Raphael Harry [00:40:52]:
You are married to a Ghanaian? Wait a minute. Yes. Where this one coming out from now? Why am I just hearing? This is 2024. This because this oh, man. Oh, when when your grandma gets older, she gonna listen to this one. I'm like, what? Yeah. I just found out too.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:41:25]:
Because my daughter died because my daughter died, that is why you didn't

Raphael Harry [00:41:32]:
The marriage the marriage No. I've been

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:41:33]:
ended. Yep.

Raphael Harry [00:41:36]:
So did you blame him for your daughter's death or he blamed you or what? No.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:41:47]:
I don't know the truth though.

Raphael Harry [00:41:50]:
But I thought she died at, at birth. Right?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:41:20]:
Kumasi. She was born in Kumasi Hospital Mhmm. Or Komfo Anokye Hospital. That's where Josephine too was born. So I don't know. Only God knows what happened, but the doctor, and nurses, know that somebody, a girlfriend of Akata. The, the Ghana, man. His name was Ankata.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:42:39]:
Akata. Uncle. Uncle. Uncle. Uh-huh.

Raphael Harry [00:42:45]:
Wow. That man Uncle.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:42:16]:
Uncle. He said Twi. He said twin.

Raphael Harry [00:42:51]:
Oh. So,

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:42:32]:
he said a twin. Now you won't believe, Auntie Egu, they all loved the man. And the picture we took, Not that, kept the picture. So this time, I came back to Nigeria. We went to visit Auntie Egu. Auntie Egu said, do I know that she has one picture of me? I said, let's me see it. And it was the picture I and Alcantara took. Now, Rayburn said, oh, this picture, he wants it.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:43:50]:
So Raymond had to go and make a copy of it.

Raphael Harry [00:43:39]:
Raymond has the picture. I'm gonna be oh, man.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:43:55]:
Yes. Oh,

Raphael Harry [00:43:47]:
you know what? Let's move on. Let's move on because let me not But that's why I'm glad that you agreed to do this interview because, you know yeah. I'm glad all these are coming out now, but, yeah. It's, yes. It's good. So, let me take you back again. Who was your closest friend or friend's growing up? And are you still in contact with any of them? Yeah.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:44:32]:
Yes. Unfortunately, almost all of them are gone. Mhmm. They are late.

Raphael Harry [00:44:48]:
And were you in touch with any of them up until

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:44:52]:
Yes. I was in touch with And those in Ghana, I mean, she's now in she's in how? How, this Canada hand.

Raphael Harry [00:45:18]:
Oh.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:45:19]:
This is Canada.

Raphael Harry [00:45:21]:
Do you have a name?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:45:24]:
Matthew's sister.

Raphael Harry [00:45:30]:
Yeah. That match is not the closest friend.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:45:34]:
I'm not too late too.

Raphael Harry [00:45:36]:
Yeah. But the what's the name of your closest the closest friend then?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:45:42]:
The the closest friend that is, you see Joanna Joanna and Francis. Was my closest friend Mhmm. And and Brad John.

Raphael Harry [00:46:08]:
Which bride John? Is it uncle John?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:46:11]:
Yes. He married, that is Comfort.

Raphael Harry [00:46:18]:
The uncle John that, after he married comfort, was he was he still your closest friend or that relationship changed?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:46:35]:
Yes.

Raphael Harry [00:46:38]:
Okay. I have to explain a little bit. Give the audience a little tidbit here. So uncle John, you see? I'm glad I'm glad that these people gave me this question because I wouldn't have thought about asking this question, to be honest. But uncle John was one of the OGs in the family that, by the time of the when I left Nigeria, you know, he was the guy was collecting pension from both Nigeria and Ghana. That that's why I was like, where? This guy. Mad respect to you. How you doing that? Got family both in Nigeria and Ghana.

Raphael Harry [00:47:21]:
But I had a great

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:47:22]:
conversation with him.

Raphael Harry [00:47:23]:
No. I had a great conversation with him just before I left, and he was talking about how he would love to see, us have what what is called, family reunion over here in America. He was talking about that concept. He was wishing we had something like that. We didn't we didn't have a term for it back then, and he was wishing we had a gathering where all of us would gather, in our village, Akbiri, at least once a year. And if if we had, like, my grandfather's house had been renovated, if we had it in good shape, and we just had a conversation about that. That's the last time I will talk to him, and I'll I didn't even realize that I'll be gone, and after that I will leave for United States and will never talk again. And I always remember that conversation.

Raphael Harry [00:48:10]:
I always remember that, but with time I'll be hearing what our histories have like, man, this guy is born of a legend. Oh, man. I really wish I wish I had the chance to go back and interview him and ask him some questions, but, man. Shout out to uncle John, man.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:48:33]:
But he's gone now.

Raphael Harry [00:48:34]:
He's gone. Yeah. You know? I was I was too young then to know certain things. So, but I I once gave him a direction. You know, one time, the last, last time he went to Ghana before, I left

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:48:48]:
Oh, he goes to Ghana. Yeah. He goes to he was going to Ghana. Yeah.

Raphael Harry [00:48:52]:
He always went to Ghana. Every Yeah. I know. Every every year, he went to Ghana. But

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:48:57]:
Every month.

Raphael Harry [00:48:58]:
There was one time he was about to go to Ghana before I left, Port Harcourt to go, for my visa thing. Finally, there was 1 period he was about to go to Ghana, and he said, I've I wanted to go somewhere. I've got it where he wanted to go, and he was look no. This was before Google Maps and all this stuff we have now, technology. And, he needed directions to somewhere, and I I still had my, you know, remember Uncle Ray's brother, Titi. Titi had given me direct directions for how from how to go to, from Lagos to, Accra and to Tema. So I still have I have it I still have it with me. Like, if I can take the bus from Lagos to Tema to Accra and to Tema to Aflau from Aflau to Tema.

Raphael Harry [00:49:50]:
So I know how to take that as the other directions, how to do it. So I told uncle John that I had that, and he was like, really? So I gave him I told him I gave him I wrote the directions down for him, and when he came back, he thanked me. He was like, Raf, Rafael, that's very great. That was that directions was correct. Yeah. I've never been there, but I was getting him directions. Sorry. I remember that.

Raphael Harry [00:50:16]:
But, yeah, it was that was nice. So, we don't have much time left. So, let let's start moving to, I still have a bunch of other questions, so we'll go over them quickly. Another interesting question that I would love to hear the answer to. What would you say drove you to be so generous towards others even when it may have been at your own expense?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:50:48]:
The name the name I was given, now that has made me to behave like that. I

Raphael Harry [00:50:56]:
thought it was hardworking. Right? Uh-huh. Mhmm. Because I what I got to do with generous?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:51:04]:
And the the the journey that the woman the woman that does good, madam, do good.

Raphael Harry [00:51:16]:
You wanna do

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:51:17]:
your own expense? Yes, sir. That's why I'm suffering now.

Raphael Harry [00:51:23]:
Okay. I was about I was about to say. Okay. What are some things you would have love to accomplish in terms of career and family?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:51:38]:
Career career, I got to, assistant director and, they said that the then direct, permanent security of of our

Raphael Harry [00:52:06]:
Of your ministry?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:52:09]:
Of our ministry. When they established our home economic section. Mhmm. The home economy session, they did not make it to reach who, director post. So when FAO World Bank when World Bank gave us, assistance to go and do further our education. Myself and missus William. May her soul rest in

Raphael Harry [00:53:08]:
peace. Amen.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:53:12]:
The 2 of us were to go for PhD. I said, I've I've lost it. Now the rebel lady, she heard, so she sabotaged the whole thing that, they were they were to discuss. To the the doctor Joshua.

Raphael Harry [00:53:46]:
Amen.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:53:47]:
He told her that if she allows me to go for this PhD. When we come back, I'm going to be the head. So, now she quickly told, a man, that man, he's from Nigeria state. He was the the director. He became even the permanent secretary. So my I don't know who carried my, forms away. I applied quickly. I applied for PHD quick.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:54:42]:
And, they sent me the forms, everything. I never filled the form. The, this thing was on my table in. More plantation till today. I don't know who carried my, form away. That's how my forms vanished. So, they made sure that I shouldn't be given, that opportunity.

Raphael Harry [00:55:20]:
So would you have would you would you have loved to, go higher than assistant director or Yes. In a in a different ministry or in the same federal ministry of

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:55:34]:
agriculture? Since I was in home economics, I was for that side. But, I applied to go to to go and lecture in UI, University of Nevada. Mhmm. You know, the extension section. So the as soon as she this my head, she too quickly applied. The interview day, I got there. She's there. I said, what are you doing here? She said, I knew what are you doing here.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:56:24]:
I said, please choose 1. If you want to be with our Greek, stay with our Greek, and let me go to extension. And if not, stay with our extension, and I will go to our creek. She refused. Now, she told Elijah Liman, A large and a man enter car. He entered transport car. He drove to, more plantation. I wanted to go to, I and missus, I remember.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:57:06]:
We were to go to one village in, Oyo. That director, So I I I I couldn't continue. I have to stop to greet him. He said, what am I hearing for? That why are you leaving us? You cannot leave us. And I have I'm the one who wrote, I use part of my, this is my papers when I was doing my specialist degree. What I did? I copied some And, I spoke, you know, I was trying to let them know if you are going to be an extension person. What you have to do? I wrote everything Now, chief said, I don't know what will happen to them. He says, if I write, I have to put a book the Yoruba woman's name there.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:58:36]:
I said, I'm the one who wrote it. Why can't I put my

Raphael Harry [00:58:40]:
name? Placed.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:58:43]:
So I refused to write. I said I won't write again. So I don't Wait.

Raphael Harry [00:58:51]:
I have I have to ask. Why why did did you ever consider going to, like, World Food Brand is it World Food Bank? The no. What, World Food Program or like IITA Oh. Those other agencies. Don't you think you would have gone they would have respected you and pushed you, into hire? Did you ever try that?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:59:16]:
I applied when I was in US. I applied to FAO.

Raphael Harry [00:59:22]:
Yeah. FAO is one of them.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [00:59:26]:
1st World Bank because I was teaching in World Bank Children's Center. So I don't know what happened. They said that, I I I I don't have, relation any person from who is working in World Bank. Now only World Bank staff. Now their families are the ones

Raphael Harry [00:59:59]:
To refer you to refer you? Okay.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:00:03]:
Who are working, who are teachers. So since I'm not, I don't work there, and I don't have a relation. And, so I said, okay. Now I left. So the director is paying her because when she saw my resume, she wanted me badly. But, she tried to talk to them, but it didn't work. And, while I was taking care of, 1 elderly lady, she said that you speak good English. Why are you doing this work? And I said that, I can't I need to do something to survive, she said.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:01:14]:
What are you so I told her, I decrease the she said, You have all that and you you are here? So that was how she told her son. Not me that her son works at, IMF, I, IMF. Mhmm. So the man asked for my resume, and the woman said I should give her a copy of my resume, so I gave her, and she gave it to her son. And, the woman finally, you know, she couldn't eat again. So I told her son that, the way his mother is behaving, I would like her to be taken to the hospital. So he said, okay. So I I call the ambulance, and I told our director.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:02:53]:
So I was in the hospital. I had to drive. Ambulance carried her. I cannot enter the ambulance, So I drove my car, and I went to the hospital. That is Fairfax Hospital. So they said that, where is insurance? I said, I don't know.

Raphael Harry [01:03:27]:
Yeah. We don't we don't need all that. What what did the son do with the resume? What happened there? Uh-huh.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:03:33]:
So she he took the, the decision, the my resume. And, finally she didn't make it, she passed on, And the son, he I don't know what they discussed. So the man called me. He says he would like me to come to come and work at IMF?

Raphael Harry [01:04:10]:
Yes. IMF. Mhmm.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:04:12]:
That's a that one account is a a corner make sure, but I didn't do a corner make sure. They do

Raphael Harry [01:04:25]:
more than that. They have the so that's why you didn't go to IMF?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:04:29]:
Yes. They have not been breaking news.

Raphael Harry [01:04:31]:
They had given you a job. You had, men, our

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:04:38]:
You can learn from them. I say, I don't want to do something, and I will not, do it to where.

Raphael Harry [01:04:49]:
You had your foot in the door. They hooked you up. You finally got somebody in there that knows you. That that Alright. Alright. Okay.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:05:01]:
Were That was how I missed I missed that opportunity.

Raphael Harry [01:05:05]:
Not for the first time. You also missed out on a millionaire too, but we'll we'll save that story for another

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:05:10]:
day. Yes. Sure.

Raphael Harry [01:05:11]:
Yes. I could have I could have been a millionaire right now, but, you know,

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:05:17]:
I wouldn't. Mhmm.

Raphael Harry [01:05:18]:
You have you have to come on join Patreon. Support me on Patreon, and then you will find out about that story. So, the what about family? What what do you have anything you would have loved to accomplish in terms of family?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:05:33]:
Family? Well, papa's house. I should have loved to see the house completed, renovated, and then I will move to go and stay in Agbe.

Raphael Harry [01:05:56]:
If you are in Agbe, this this won't be happening because if you are in Agua and it took us, like, 30 minutes before we could connect, I don't know what will happen, Agbere. Agbere would have had to put you on the roof of the house. Okay. Okay. Okay. Now I'll put this one last. Okay. What would you like all of us to do for you individually and corporately so you can enjoy your 2024 and many more years ahead?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:06:37]:
I want to see my children all come together and celebrate my birthday before I go.

Raphael Harry [01:07:04]:
Okay. And do you think about, oh, yes. Now that you mentioned before you go, that that's actually a question about that. I should have number these questions, honestly. But, I was I thought I had it. I I I thought I'd be doing it on my laptop. So my laptop is much, easy for me to just go from 1 to the other. But on the phone, it's, yeah.

Raphael Harry [01:07:33]:
I'm no I'm no longer as young as I once used to be. It's different. It's difficult on the phone. I know these young kids do it, but now I now I I can testify. It's, yeah. Respect to the young ones. Shout out to Ed, Joanne, and Ebimire, and Loyce. Yeah.

Raphael Harry [01:07:48]:
I mean, Ebimire is also in the game now. Where is it? This one. I see it. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Raphael Harry [01:07:59]:
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. There's a particular question I just need to ask. Nope. That's not it.

Raphael Harry [01:08:10]:
Uh-huh. How do you think everyone will continue to stay connected together because you seem to be the one glue that has kept everyone all this while?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:08:24]:
Well, so far as I'm alive, I will make sure that we come together.

Raphael Harry [01:08:30]:
So what happens when you're gone?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:08:34]:
When I'm

Raphael Harry [01:08:34]:
gone think about when you're gone? What happens when you're gone?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:08:38]:
I'm gone, because of how I did, that will make, it will work. It will work. It's very I I'm gone. My children, my friends, my,

Raphael Harry [01:09:05]:
Grandchildren?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:09:06]:
All those grandchildren and all those children where I'm helping. And second one, 2 is entering university. 1 has entered university. Second one, 2 is entering.

Raphael Harry [01:09:28]:
So would you would you consider that to be a legacy? Do you have a different take on what your legacy will be?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:09:39]:
Well, maybe maybe that will be my legacy.

Raphael Harry [01:09:44]:
I know. I'm I'm not the one putting words. You you can feel free to express it. It's your time. You're the star of the show, so go ahead. You

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:09:53]:
know? Yes.

Raphael Harry [01:09:54]:
You're getting your flowers. So on, okay. I'll hold this. This will be the final question I'll ask. But before I get to the final question Okay. 2 things because you you are 1 woman I've seen dancing a lot. I know now it's much difficult for you. It's a little bit difficult, not much.

Raphael Harry [01:10:14]:
A little bit difficult for you to walk around like the way you would have loved to.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:10:19]:
However And I I

Raphael Harry [01:10:21]:
can dance. Yeah.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:10:22]:
There you go. I cannot move.

Raphael Harry [01:10:24]:
There you go. Because

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:10:25]:
I I I always stand

Raphael Harry [01:10:26]:
The question I was about to ask you has to do with dancing. And

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:10:31]:
Yes. I stand out for only one place and dance.

Raphael Harry [01:10:35]:
Your nickname while you were in Virginia was, one of your nicknames was, the what? What? Mama mama dance, or what was it called again? So everybody on this show is considered a dancer, and, we need you to give us 3 artists that can keep you dancing for at least an hour. So who are the 3 artists? Give us 3 artists that can keep you dancing for an hour. But we're not saying you should stand up and start

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:11:06]:
dancing around. Not dance

Raphael Harry [01:11:08]:
for 1 hour. Well, I've seen you dancing for over 3 hours, and then when you go home, you have to be the 1 massaging your leg. So that that that that's not the issue now. So, we need you to name 3 artists that will keep you dancing for an hour.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:11:23]:
Enjoy enjoy dance?

Raphael Harry [01:11:25]:
Yep. That that's the the main dance. I wasn't expecting anything less.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:11:30]:
Then Ghana dance.

Raphael Harry [01:11:40]:
Not the dance. Who is the who is the musician?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:11:45]:
The musician? Mhmm. Oh, the in John Watts, I don't know their names, but, I love I love their songs.

Raphael Harry [01:11:54]:
Okay. Name the songs.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:11:57]:
I cannot sing it.

Raphael Harry [01:11:58]:
You have to sing it. Just name the the song. I will find the artist and tell you people later on.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:12:07]:
Okay. Oh, this girl has gone home. Now she knows the names then.

Raphael Harry [01:12:15]:
No, King Robert. No Barrister. No.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:12:20]:
I still enjoy Robert too.

Raphael Harry [01:12:23]:
Okay.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:12:23]:
Robot is my number one.

Raphael Harry [01:12:25]:
There you go. So is it not the is it not King Robot? King Robot is more?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:12:32]:
Yes.

Raphael Harry [01:12:32]:
Mhmm. See? I still know my Ijaw artist. Thought I will fail the exam. King Robert a Bismar one. Number 2.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:12:44]:
His boys. Those his boys. One of them.

Raphael Harry [01:12:49]:
Barrister Smooth?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:12:53]:
He's very good too. He plays like his master.

Raphael Harry [01:12:59]:
Was Barrister Smooth not one of his boys? Is there a different one?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:13:02]:
I don't know. I got smooth smooth I have Smooth, record too.

Raphael Harry [01:13:07]:
Okay. What is that? What of Jim Rex Lawson?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:13:13]:
Hey. Rex Lawson is, that's the one I use his music to win, first prize in Ghana. Restless. Do you

Raphael Harry [01:13:32]:
have any is there do a Ijaw woman not sing? No a jaw woman musician?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:13:39]:
Now, Robert, is that his daughter, Abi? I have her record.

Raphael Harry [01:13:48]:
Oh, no. No. I don't recall that one. I just knew King Robert, and his dance has caused him havoc. Like, if Internet the day Internet will discover king Robert's dance. Yeah. I don't think Internet will just break down. But anyway, second to last question.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:14:06]:
And and then

Raphael Harry [01:14:07]:
Oh, you have?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:14:08]:
Dance. Dance?

Raphael Harry [01:14:09]:
Or you both dance? Or you both dance is

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:14:11]:
with you? Yes. Bob Marley.

Raphael Harry [01:14:16]:
Bob Marley? Hey. Mhmm. But you you won't you won't let me smoke weed, but you you like Bob Mali? Si wala. Alright. Bob Marley. Alright. Food. Favorite food.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:14:40]:
All kinds.

Raphael Harry [01:14:42]:
Well, now you put know how she's my mother because he had the answer. All kinds. So you put you know why I like food except maybe fresh fish because that's the person I got it from. But I know your favorite food when you your favorite American food. Because your granddaughter also likes that too. Your favorite American food. I know it. You but I want to

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:15:09]:
hear it from you.

Raphael Harry [01:15:10]:
You say it. I want to hear it from you because every time I visited you, black eyeshadow. You ask what you want to eat. So

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:15:19]:
No. K. K. It's not fair for me. American food.

Raphael Harry [01:15:22]:
Your favorite American food. Ghana. No. I I'm asking you for your favorite you I want you to name your favorite American food.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:15:30]:
I eat, it.

Raphael Harry [01:15:33]:
You always you're asking me to buy it. And your granddaughter loves it too. Mhmm. But she because she's born in Brooklyn. She's from Brooklyn. So

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:15:45]:
Is it macaroni?

Raphael Harry [01:15:46]:
No. Well, she likes macaroni too, but, but she like everything, to be honest. Pizza.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:15:56]:
Oh, pizza. I love the food.

Raphael Harry [01:15:58]:
Uh-huh. There you go.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:16:00]:
Since I keep Where

Raphael Harry [01:16:03]:
are you getting fresh pizza in in Yenagoa? On.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:16:07]:
No. No. No. Who went about to be 1 dry one? No. I said, oh, this one will be better one.

Raphael Harry [01:16:16]:
They bought they they they don't know who they were buying it for. That's why. Alright. Final question. We appreciate you giving us your time and spending time with us. So what would you like, wait. Wait. Sorry.

Raphael Harry [01:16:28]:
That's what advice would you give to us, your family, the listeners that you have observed so far that you will that will help us grow? What yeah. No. No. I mean, scratch the last part. What advice would you like to give to us, your family, to the listeners, to support us of this show? Yeah. To everybody, what advice would you like to give us for 2024?

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:16:52]:
Humility. Try to be humble and be, forgiveness, forgetfulness. Mhmm.

Raphael Harry [01:17:10]:
I don't know about forgetfulness. Okay. That's what works. You you are a memory store from 1944, and also I don't think we should be forgetful. But okay. It depends. But yeah.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:17:27]:
And, respect Respect each other. Either adult or Young Child. Children.

Raphael Harry [01:17:43]:
Young people.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:17:44]:
Children. All.

Raphael Harry [01:17:45]:
Elderly. All deserve.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:17:47]:
Depend And all.

Raphael Harry [01:17:50]:
Yes. Alright. Mbana, thank you again. Mbana is our thank you, for coming on the show. Really appreciate you. And, thank you for giving me some parts of my history that I'm not I wasn't aware of, so I'll definitely be following up on that.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:18:20]:
Joe.

Raphael Harry [01:18:22]:
Ed Ed would definitely enjoy this. So to everyone listening, thank you for joining us. Thank you for your support. Don't forget to give us 5 stars. Don't forget to share with your friends, and let us know if you enjoyed this episode. And, yeah, keep the love coming in, and we'll bring you more awesome episodes. And, hopefully, Madam Emelia can, join us again for another episode down the line, and hopefully, one day, her granddaughter will get to interview her in the future when she wants to be in the in the studio. Alright.

Emelia Harry Akponwei [01:18:59]:
Abayo

Raphael Harry [01:19:00]:
Yeah. Thanks for listening to White Label American. If you enjoy the show, please give a 5-star review on your favorite podcast app. You can follow the show on all social media platforms. Visit the White Label American website for links, for donations, episodes, feedback, guests, merch, and newsletter. Don't forget to download the free White Label American app on the Google Play Store and Apple coming soon. Thank you for the privilege of your company.