Ep 169: A Candid Update with Raphael Harry

Raphael Harry [00:00:00]:
Hi, everyone. Raphael Harry here, and you're listening to White Label American, a podcast where we hear stories from an immigrant or 2, sometimes more. Thank you for listening and enjoy the show. Hi, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for joining us today. This is, an episode to show that I'm here alive and to say thank you for being with me throughout this creative funk that I've been going through. First of all, a special thank you to my patrons who have been with me throughout this period. It's the first time I've ever been through a creative funk where I haven't been putting out episodes like I'd normally do.

Raphael Harry [00:01:18]:
Yeah. It's been weird. It's been a weird one. I've had some issues with my health. For the most part, I'm in good condition. It's been weird to have been diagnosed with something to do with my eyes. I have my eyesight, I can still see. But, if if it doesn't work out, then I might go blind.

Raphael Harry [00:01:44]:
That's all I'll tell you for now. We're working through it. Hopefully, it goes to everything goes well. But that doesn't mean I haven't been at work. I have been, recording episodes. I just haven't been putting them out, and I apologize for that. However, I would like to share some of the episodes that I have recorded and I'll be putting out very, very soon, very soon. But if you're on Patreon, you've gotten some of them already.

Raphael Harry [00:02:15]:
I have recorded an episode with my mom where we talked about World War 2 stories that I wasn't aware of in my family with my grandfather and, some of the history of Nigeria and Ghana, you know, that affects my family. We also, I also recorded solo episodes with Grace Nkem and Obinna Elechi, who you guys have heard of from the previous episodes where they both sat down here with Amir Bey. And they each talk about their journeys separately. You know, Grace Nkem is the Russian Nigerian who lives in my neighborhood. And Obinna Elechi is the architect and, comic book artist who's also, a Port Harcourt boy like myself. And I look forward to introducing you guys to Kwesi Foley, the host of the African Time podcast. He's also a guy who I believe you enjoy. He's, also a Black Stars fan.

Raphael Harry [00:03:28]:
If you don't know the Black Stars, that's the Ghana national soccer team, and his episode includes yeah. There were some tears shared for the current state of Ghanaian football. So, that's a very interesting episode. I believe you guys will enjoy. And there are other people like Rokhaya Ndiaye and Paula Sima who Paula's episode might be one you guys want to be on the lookout for. And there are many more guests coming and, I've been appearing on other podcasts at the same time. I've been, I've been lucky to be a guest on, Le Traducteur. I hope I didn't say it correctly in French.

Raphael Harry [00:04:11]:
It's, mostly a French, Bambara podcast, but they have English versions, and I was fortunate to be a guest on their English episode, a good friend of the podcast who's also appeared on the podcast, Zou Diallo, is the host. And he invited me to be one of their first English guests and we had a great discussion. And if you see the videos on their social media, you see me wearing my traditional attire. He always wears traditional attire. He's from Mali, but Bambara is spoken in about 5 West African countries. So, it was fun doing that podcast, and I got to celebrate my good friend's, 200th anniversary, All Things Basketball with GD. So be on the lookout for that. Check it out.

Raphael Harry [00:05:06]:
Great podcasts. Awesome podcasts. So check it out. Which was I think I was also on yes. Talk Shit With P. It's hosted by Paula Sima who will be appearing soon on this podcast. I was also a guest on her podcast. So I've appeared on a few podcasts even though I haven't been releasing mine.

Raphael Harry [00:05:26]:
So, yeah, I've been in and out on the podcasting streets. So, what else do I have to share before I, I just wanted you guys to know that, I've there was just a weird thing that I've been going through. That's all. But I've been trying to stay creative trying to, you know, mingle and do things. I'm also in a program for, military veterans interested in politics. Not necessarily saying I'm running for office, but it's for veterans who are interested in political leadership. So it's called the new leadership, council. So I just started the classes.

Raphael Harry [00:06:11]:
It's gonna be for about 5 or 6 weeks. So, it doesn't mean you see me running for office tomorrow or next tomorrow, but it's something just for trans sake of transparency. Going through that is non, it's a bipartisan program. So I'm currently going through that and it'll be more things that when I'm ready to announce them, I will let you all know that I'm going through that. And I'm also working on Afros on audio, the 6th Afros on audio. Hopefully, I'll make it to be a speaker, but, with a panel of African diaspora podcasters. So those are some of the things that I'm working on right now. And last thing I will wrap up with, I have, seen this video of a young woman complaining about her interaction with Anthony Mackie.

Raphael Harry [00:07:10]:
And you all know I'm a Marvel fan, so it caught my attention. So I don't Twitter, which some of you call x or which somebody wants us to call it x. And it made me wonder. I thought no was supposed to mean no. She was angry, and she said she ran into Anthony Mackie at the gas station. He was in his car, had the windows down, and she tried to approach him, Her words to say, I love your movie. Your movie is fantastic, blah blah blah. And he said, nope.

Raphael Harry [00:07:46]:
I'm doing the description that she gave the way she said in the video he said nope with his hands beckoning to her saying nope And she got mad, made a video, turned the camera on, and how dare the celebrity say no to her and blah blah blah blah and everything? And I was like, you kind of made his point. You know? You kind of made his point because, yeah, maybe you shouldn't have, you know, I don't think you were the type of person he wanted around him. Well, for whatever reason, he said, no. I think he was right. He was justified in saying no. I've seen a bunch of celebrities around, and I love a lot of their work. Brian, what's his name? Brian, Henry, Brian Tyree Henry. Why am I messing up his name? The guy who plays Paper Boy on, Atlanta.

Raphael Harry [00:08:44]:
I saw him shooting the movie once in the neighborhood, and it seemed like they were on a break. Didn't mean I should just run across and say, hey, man. I love your work, man. Once you say, I don't mean to, I'm trying not I don't mean to be a bother. You've already started to bother the person, and it's up to the celebrity or the person to entertain you at that moment. So it comes with the risk of saying nope from the person. But somehow there's this language that I've always seen online and everywhere, which there is no means no. And at that moment, I came across that video online.

Raphael Harry [00:09:25]:
It seemed like she threw that language out. No. It didn't mean no. It's because she is paid to see some of his movies. She has ownership over him. And I've seen that language applied, by sports fans who say, hey. Oh, because I paid to, watch your game. Don't matter the team.

Raphael Harry [00:09:51]:
I pay your salary. No. You don't pay the salary of any athletes. The owner of the team pays the salary of the athletes. You know? And we put money in the owner of the team's pocket. So go get mad, the owner of the team. And we try to use that as a means to say we own this, at least, and try to although many of us will say we don't support slavery and that kind of thing, well, start using language like that. So I just found it funny that she was bold enough to turn the camera on herself, and maybe it's a generational thing.

Raphael Harry [00:10:23]:
Maybe I'm getting old, So maybe that's a sign that, you know, my beards are gray. So, you know, maybe I should start dyeing my beard. Maybe I'll become young and then I won't think like that anymore. Who knows? But I just found it funny. I have a little audience in the studio, by the way. So I just find it funny that somebody will think that way and she thought he was a bad celebrity who, you know, they should fire him from being Captain America. You're Captain America. You must I'm like, you must what? You must live your life.

Raphael Harry [00:10:56]:
Be who you are. If you don't wanna say hi to to nobody, then move on. And I just found it funny. I mean, I know Tony Mackee lives in Louisiana. He's a bad person. Anybody who lives in, New Orleans, I'm like, golly. Y'all got time today. But I think by the second day, people are already turning on the woman and that's what social media is.

Raphael Harry [00:11:19]:
You know, you post something within 5 minutes, you can get all the people praising you and then 30 minutes later, people start turning on you. And I hope she got the high that she wanted. And, hope, I don't know what she's feeling now that people turn on her, but at the end of the day, no means no. No is not a bad language. No is a language that we should all have. My kid tells me no, except when I feel she didn't wipe her butt properly, then I have to overrule her. So, yes, it's not a democracy. I have to wipe your butt when yeah.

Raphael Harry [00:11:50]:
I don't want stinky butt around me. I don't like it because I don't, yeah, I don't want stinky butt on the couch. But I encourage her to say no when she doesn't feel like, you know, by she's in her feelings. Get used to practicing the word no. Get used to an get used to, you know, vocalizing your emotions, get used to talking and expressing yourself. And, you know, as I think I'd said it earlier in the podcast, in an earlier episode that one of the best times in my life was when I realized that I could say no to family. I could say no to people around me, and I lost a lot of friends. I lost a lot of people because it was just I was, I was like a they were just siphoning me.

Raphael Harry [00:12:41]:
And that's why I lost a lot of the money I made from the navy. I lost a lot of, you know, relevance to many people in my life because all my time in the navy was just, you know, I was taking loans nonstop. People were just, you know, hey. Hey. I have this problem. Hey. Hey. You know, you're in America.

Raphael Harry [00:12:58]:
You know, I gave you a cup of water one time. You know, this okay. Yeah. We went through. We suffered a lot. I suffered a lot while I was in Port Harcourt, while I was in Lagos, while I was here. Somebody helped me. This person yeah.

Raphael Harry [00:13:10]:
We did this and that. But doesn't mean you gotta blackmail me. Doesn't mean if I'm in a position to help, I won't help you. But it doesn't mean once I can't help you, you have to say, oh, remember that time I gave you a cup of water? You must, and then I'll go take a loan. And I start drowning and drowning and drowning. And the moment I said, no, I don't have to do that. I became a bad person to many people. That's not friendship.

Raphael Harry [00:13:37]:
That's not love. And once I discovered that I had the right to say no, it stopped. So people have the right to tell me no. I have the right to tell others no too. And I use that in my love life. I use that in every everything I do. I write out to guests. I've shared it once on the podcast.

Raphael Harry [00:14:00]:
The best no I've gotten came from Serena Williams' husband. We invited him on the podcast and within 5 minutes, you know, I used some of the connections that we have. We wear the same sneakers. We know the same, the owner of the company. We probably would have met if not for the pandemic. And he responded and said, wow, it's nice to meet, to hear from someone who uses the same sneakers from the same company. And, it was a very lovely note that he gave me, but he wasn't ready to come on a podcast. But I was surprised he responded.

Raphael Harry [00:14:38]:
I didn't think he would respond, but it was a beautiful no. And I cherish that no. I cherish it, but it was a no. There's a world maybe there's a version of me that would have just gone on straight at me now and say, how dare Serena Williams' husband say no to me? All I just wanted to say was, you're a great guy. Like, what would I have gained from doing that? That was a beautiful no. And I moved on. And it actually, it inspired me to continue sending, invites to people to come on the podcast and the world doesn't end there. So hopefully anyone listening to this, you take that to mean no doesn't mean the end of the world.

Raphael Harry [00:15:17]:
No. It's not a bad thing. Learn to say no when you're not in the mood to do something. And you, especially when you, you have the intuition, you know, it's not the right thing for you. Even if it's looking bright on the outside or it's like glittering and you don't want it, don't force yourself into something you're not supposed to. You're not, you're not, you're not feeling it then just know and walk away. If you have to tell a diplomatic lie, then do that. Whatever works for you.

Raphael Harry [00:15:46]:
I'm not gonna coach you guys through that. If you want me to coach you through that, well, you know, my pay, you know, my, PayPal, you know, my Cash App, you know, my you know, you know, I accept dollars, pounds, sterling, euros, gold bars. I'm not Senator Menendez, so don't send me one of your governments so that the FBI doesn't come after me. But, Bitcoins, I will accept Bitcoins. They have high value right now, so yes. But don't send me no NFTs. I don't do NFTs on they they don't send me the ones that, I don't understand what they are. Okay? Yeah.

Raphael Harry [00:16:17]:
We stick to that. So I've been your host, Raphael Harry, as always. Thank you for always being with me. I appreciate you all, And I'll be back from now on with more episodes, and I'll be trying new things. And let me know if you want me to do more solo episodes. I can do solo episodes, give you more tales or spill more tea if you want. I'll do that. And, my kid is getting old enough to want to come to the studio sometimes.

Raphael Harry [00:16:46]:
So let me know if you want her in the studio too. She might call me, and I don't know. I don't think I want her spilling tea. That's a different topic for her day, but it depends on how much you give me. I'll bring her. So, yeah, I love money. So support. Don't be supporting all the billionaires.

Raphael Harry [00:17:01]:
Support the singlenaires too. Alright. I'm your host. Love you guys as always. Keep showing love back and love the people in your life. And thank you for the privilege of your company. Go give us 5 stars and give other independent podcasters 5 stars too. Thanks for listening to White Label American.

Raphael Harry [00:17:25]:
If you enjoy the show, we'll appreciate if you rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast wherever you get your podcast from. If you have any questions, comments, or have someone who will be a good guest on the show or you want to be on the show, send us a message at white labelamerican@gmail.com. And make sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram at White Label American. Thank you for your support.